(ENG-2019+2020 shortened (13P 4.300W) )
The matter is about the incident that in 2014 I was falsely accused of various sexual crimes by some „feminism“ activists from the sphere of „Wildwasser“ and the Berlin (ex-) „women’s movement“.
Without me knowing at the time, I was then apparently presented as a „rapist“ at the „Conference Antisexist Practices“ in 2014, brought to justice thanks to those feminist groups.
I fear in 2016 I was also instrumentalized in the context of sex offence reform.
I am very sure, however, that I was instrumentalized to grab government and private funding for these groups.
[From a german tex t I made public in 2019]
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ENG-2019+2020 shortened (13P 4.300W)
Florian Merten
florian.fashion.blog
TOC:
Eng Short Pt1 – some of my texts (translated 2020) 1
Eng Short Pt2 – Links (2020) 6
Eng Short Pt3 – translations of two articles (2019) 6
Eng Short Pt4 – english writing from 2020 (shortened fom 12 to 6) 8
Eng Short Pt1 – some of my texts (translated 2020)
This are some of the many texts I made public in german in 2019. I translated them.
2018 – Short statement to my former psychiatrist
now a few details for you: My problems started in 2009, when I lived in Bremen and had a short relationship with a woman from Berlin. From this relationship on I was severely depressed and started speed-abuse. In 2011 I went to Berlin. I started my PhD and my job. The problems escalated as follows: After my move to Berlin I was very closely integrated in a left-wing intellectual (also radical left and Marxist) network that had formed from university groups from Bremen and Berlin and student groups. This is how I got my room, letters of recommendation for my scholarship etc… but above all social connections. My 3 best friends were also an integral part of this, and also the woman from 2009.
Two years after the relationship in 2009 (i.e. 2011) it all unexpectedly escalated again. Especially because my ex had probably implied or claimed that I had abused her in the relationship. I don’t even know what exactly your accusations were. At least it’s pretty much bullshit, I probably acted like an asshole a couple of times, but it’s nothing that under normal circumstances anyone would have been interested in for more than 6 months. But then the whole thing escalated totally as a conflict about feminism in general, about male violence, female solidarity etc… and who of the men and women is on whose side. If I had been a little bit familiar with Berlin and Berlin structures before, it would certainly have been less surprising. And also the vehemence and senselessness of the debates.
In fact, at the beginning of 2014, I had simply lost all my friends, was in a foreign city, was a drug addict and had suffered a crass breakdown. Whether the behavior of my close friends, the political network or the woman was decisive, or simply my drug addiction or my psychological constitution, who wants to know exactly that now in retrospect.
At least I spent the year 2014 more or less like this: I hardly talked to anybody, was only in my room and took drugs, slept 1-2 times a week and gradually lost my mind. In 2015 I was completely abstinent and in October 2015 I came to you for treatment
2018 – from an email to family[…]
Well, you’ve got a bit of an idea. I told you I was accused of some vague sexual misconduct. But the whole thing is much more complicated and very sad. And I don’t really know how to deal with it in the future.
There was also explicit mention of „rape“. And the word got around incredibly well as far as Bremen and elsewhere. To some people and pubs (tristeza) I sent a short statement 2017
[…]
I wrote my statement when I had not yet read it all like this. [The texts from the DefMa people. That’s why I didn’t know how serious it all was.]
I had always wondered why no one ever contacted me and apologized and we could find a common approach and a common solution.
[I added things that weren’t in the version for the pub Tristeza]
In the years 2009-2014 I was accused by 3 women in Berlin of misconduct in sexual matters. I have therefore been banned from left-wing projects. 2012 in Brunnenstraße and 2014 in NFJ-Berlin, Tristeza, k-fetish and aboutBlank. 2017In „Groups against Capital and Nation“.
I’ll summarize it briefly. I won’t mention any names and I’ll try not to be indiscreet:
Case 1) In 2009 I lived in Bremen and had an affair with a Berlin woman. It was the first time that I tried to have a relationship. The relationship quickly developed into a nasty psycho-terror (for both of us) and I have said some hurtful things in the last weeks. They were not meant to hurt and I stand by saying them. That was my opinion. She can whatever.
I can tell you or anyone else and explain the background anytime. (Is added 2018) I told her afterwards often how sorry I was for my behaviour. In 2011 I moved to Berlin with her permission. Here I was unexpectedly confronted very violently with said sayings and statements. And I was banned from Brunnenstraße.
In the following time I lost some/all friends because of the conflicts and became more and more depressed (but I was already depressed since the relationship). Above all also very paranoid and sociophobic. – I hardly met friends or people I knew about political contexts anymore. I also heard that there were people who searched in my environment and in Bremen for cases where I had behaved incorrectly towards women (Case2 A friend from Bremen told me that people from Berlin had asked her something like that. I had also been a bit pushy towards her once, she told them that too. But she and I would have no problem now).
There was also a lot of gossip, I think.
In this time and later I had a whole series of affairs, many through online dating. I was later accused by two of these affairs, including my behaviour.
Case 3) In the first one, it was something like this: After about two weeks of getting to know each other and having sexual intercourse, there was one evening where I was very drunk. She had said that she didn’t want something special sexual, which I liked. I tried to persuade her briefly but intensely. She was right to think it was very bad. I was very scared by her anger at that time (especially because of the first story above). In the following days I did not want to admit that I had behaved wrong at first. Then I apologized, which she accepted. Then I put the apology into some more relative terms, whereupon she said that she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. I did not hear from her again until 2014, she demanded the further house bans.
Case 4) – In 2013/14 I had a slightly longer relationship. And I was sure the whole time that she liked it all very much sexually. Extremely well even. More than me at least, that is absolutely certain. She said that a lot, especially after the last time we had sex. She ended the relationship because she was upset about some things I said. And because things had just been bad between us for weeks. I can show the chat transcripts to anyone. It was three months. The first half was really nice I think, but my depression was too much and I couldn’t talk about the psycho-terror yet.
about 4 months later I got an email from her in which she said completely unexpectedly (for me), I had behaved rude and inconsiderate during sex.
At least I think so: In the mail she made a list of situations where she had to push me away etc… During sex. I didn’t even notice, but I certainly didn’t resist when she pushed me away. And she doesn’t say that there. Things like that.
I think they were. I don’t want to get into it here.
And she had contact with other people who also „disagreed“ with my sexual behaviour. And she would know that I’ve been banned before because of that. And that I’d be banned again because of her and the earlier cases. (And that I should leave immediately if I see her anyway.).
This is all simplified, but I think I can leave it like this. All the other explanations don’t help anyone. At least I don’t think I did anything that wasn’t right.
[…]
[…]
I think between me and the 3-4 people directly involved (case 1-4) there should simply be a peaceful ending of the matter. At the bottom of the page is a mail draft to the three
[….]
Hello, you three:
I hope you’re well. I really do. It was all a really bad story for me (and my family and others). I’d love to see the „DefMa-measure“ to end soon, and it would be great if you’d get involved. I mean, actively get involved. Now I don’t know how you see it all.
If you continue to claim a „power of definition“ regarding my “ deeds“, that is ok. But then I will certainly not take any „responsibility for my deeds“. Obviously.
I have now read the texts about DefMa and „Dealing with sexualised violence in the left scene“. Clearly you are (not only me) victims of a confused ideology:
There’s not even an exit option or a long-term perspective.
So, my definition: I have all your accusations of (violence) crime in writing. Case 1, case 2 and case 3 are hereby rejected. We can, however, negotiate this and if necessary I will insist on it.
Possibility: I will give your and my chat and email history (until 2014) to a person you can trust. Plus a few private written comments, what I don’t understand or don’t see in it. This person of your trust can then tell me. And I am sure that I would understand all much better then.
Eng Short Pt2 – Links (2020)
http://askgerda.blogsport.de/english/
www.transformativejustice.eu/en/
http://defma.blogsport.de/material/
http://fruitiondesign.com/dealwithit/02wispy.php
http://antisexistische-praxen.site36.net/files/2012/08/ASP-V-Programm-ENGL.pdf
ZineNICHTMEINRAUMNOTMYSPACE.pdf
Eng Short Pt3 – translations of two articles (2019)
From: „Moral Rigorism“ (Ulrike Heider/ junge Welt 2016) […]“Power of Definition“
Closely linked to the “ consent concept “ is its German expansion under the slogan “ power of definition „, as it is called, a political weapon against sexism and patriarchy.
Thought of as a left-internal alternative to bourgeois justice, „definition power“ practically means that a woman who, in her opinion, has been sexually assaulted or abused and makes this public within the political scene does not have to prove any of this. Even if she only had a „funny feeling“ during foreplay or sex, she can declare that she was raped.
Only she is believed, never the accused man. He is to be lectured first. If he is not insightful or if the victim can no longer bear his presence, he is threatened with exclusion from certain political spheres by house bans in flat-sharing communities or squatted houses.
When different opinions refer to a possible abuse of power by women, „definition power“-dogmatists claim that this argument proves nothing but „the interests of potential rapists or sexist men’s interests“.
[…]
Group “DefMA” – about the right way to deal with perpetrators“ ( 2007)
WHAT DOES THE TREATMENT OF PERPETRATORS IN SUPPORT OF THE VICTIMS AND THEIR DEFINITIONS LOOK LIKE?
Unfortunately, victim-hostile treatment of perpetrators* is still common. As soon as the topic is discussed because a concrete assault is discussed or thematized in your environment, the urgent need for action within the left-wing scene becomes clear. This not only manifests itself in endless and annoying discussions, which can lead to sexism and anti-feminism, and also shapes the social network within the scene: a not so small part of the published cases does not find a friendly and non-injurious basis for discussion. Therefore, a few remarks and tips for dealing with perpetrators in a way that supports them and their definition of power.
What is…true?
The definition of whether a sexualised border violation** has occurred lies solely with the person concerned*** – this principle is called power of definition. But when a sexualised assault is published, some people want to judge what has happened „objectively“. As in civil court proceedings, the power of definition of the victims is questioned by searching for reasons and details of the event and for indications of the possible innocence of the perpetrator. Instead, the aim is to show understanding for those affected, to find an appropriate way of dealing with them and to condemn and denounce the sexist conditions. This is one of the main reasons why many of those affected, well aware of what kind of reaction is waiting for them, do not manage to bring the case up for discussion. The question „What really happened? presupposes that there is an objective reality. But (sexualised) violence is experienced, classified and assessed differently by those affected on the basis of their personal history, presence and experience. If a person affected describes a rape or a sexualised assault as such, then this corresponds to their perception and is to be accepted in exactly the same way. The person affected must not be expected to have to justify his or her publication! The feeling of the affected person alone is sufficient to allow appropriate consequences to follow.
[…]
Eng Short Pt4 – english writing from 2020 (shortened fom 12 to 6)
[…]
In 2019 I made some kind of ultimatum and said that I expect them (Tristeza etc) to meet halfway. But that I expected (and expect) serious concessions on their part basically that they retract the accusations made, and make clear that the accusations that were made definitely don’t amount to anything that any good person could consider a criminal offense or something.
[…]
So they did not answer for month and so I went public.
There reactions had been so far, that they put some of their texts down from the Web. And tries to blog me on different forums where I posted all that.
[…]
In April 2014 they (all three?) wrote me an Email as the “Support Group Basic” .. and said, that I was banned from “Tristeza”, k-fetisch, about: blank (and later from the political organization NFJ-Berlin) (and even later from the group were I used to be part of in Bremen (www.gegner.in) – so the Berlin-Chapter banned me from all public and non-public activities there are doing.
The Homepage of BASIC went down some Month ago (i think) .. but here. I found one reference that ties these three groups together.
[https://www.transformativejustice.eu/de/584/ (2019, translated by me)]
“[…] In Berlin we have been networking with ask gerd_a since the Anti-Sexist Practices Conference 2012 and in the meantime also with basic. These are both self-organized support groups from Berlin for people affected by sexualized violence and discrimination.[…]”
http://askgerda.blogsport.de/english/
About the “Anti-Sexist Practices Conference”.. (ger.:“Antisexistische Praxen 2014)”:
There’s one disturbing thing I want to add here. this conference is not very big. I think about 6-10 people did some kind of speech, workshop, lecture. something like this. Two of my accusers did a workshop there in Oktober 2014. They did public lectures and workshops about how to combat “sexualised violence” in the “leftist szene” …They are just the worst…
I mean, it was all about how DefMa-Feminist-”Support-Groups” help women who (would otherwise not dear) to speak out against the rapists.. Those things.
I just wonder what would have happen, if they didn’t find me to accuse me of raping them.. It feels like this whole conference would have not taken place. I mean it was the last one anyways.
But in summer 2015 accuser Nr2 (L***a) held a lecture in 2015 titled “rapists – we will get you” (“Vergewaltiger wir kriegen euch”).. So tasteless. I mean, I have good reasons to think that I’m the „rapist“ they want to get.
[…]
2010 was the moment when our personal communication stopped. from that moment on I started to get harrassed and attacked by some people from her Housing Project Brunnenstraße. Especially a woman named Nyco.
And she made a big deal out of me having said that to my Ex. The thing with the unwashed penis.
I didn’t denied anything that N***o or others accused me of. (I guess some minor things I denied that I don’t/didn’t think are true. But thinks that I not relevant I think.)
I think it was kind of violating towards me that they pressured me into talking about the (miserable awkward) sexlife me and my Ex had..
I was jung and naiv. I should have categorically refused to talk about that with N***o or anyone.
I’m also not too sure how comfortable my Ex was with the fact that I shared those things with N***o or others. People who interrogated me kind of.
But I never had the feeling I need to deny something. I mean I had no Idea, that I was under some sort of criminal investigation by Nyco and other Berlin “leftist-szene feminist sex-crime-police”. I wasn’t aware that something like that even exists.
[…]
[…]
Accuser Nr2 i got to know by Online-Dating via (both, Nr2 and Nr3) . Back then my profile started with a sentence “I am a communist and radical leftist and if you consider yourself a feminist it might help us getting along.”.. Oh fuck… XD
So we had some sort of affair for some weeks. I think we had a lot of sex and I thought it was amazing. I felt pretty good and just comfortable with her. Not just while having Sex but kind of especially there. I mean, we never got to the point to be more than a “sexual romantic adventure” or something. But I strongly remember the moment, maybe our second Date when she admitted having gone through all my facebook pictures.. (and thought they were cute or something.)I had a strong feeling that we both enjoyed it very much together and I also kind of don’t want to take that away from this time we had.
The situation was, she offered or asked for doing oral sex on me (on my genitals) and she said that I should use a condom for that.And I said something like oh is it really necessary in oral sex using a condom and she says that I said it in the way that it sounds like an order. And I think it was like that I was making a joke. I apologized many times about making that joke at that moment.
(In hindsight I shouldn’t have done that so often and so extreme. I mean no one ever apologized to me(!) in this context of szene-sexcrime-accusations an apology will always be used against you .. and it’s also just a power-game. In there world: If you apologize than that doesn’t mean your a decent person – it means, that your scared of them […] .. or something )
I mean we had some kind of a relationship for almost a month and she did absolutely know that I was not trying to seriously order her to do anything.
But ok, so she was very pissed after that. We laid down it was a very awkward and bad mood and we watched some TV show and I slept at her place then (this all took place at her place). We barely talked for the rest of the evening and night. After that tense situation we did not have sex. And also never again after that.
The next days and weeks it was all about arguing about “that situation” and if it was a terrible act on my part and if I did apologize enough or not enough and we had like a little fight for one or two weeks at one point she even like set it was fine and knew that it was a joke and all. But then also took that back again.
Now in 2020 I suspect the whole conflict was about if I see myself as guilty enough. if I totally condemn my behavior in that situation. It was basically about the question if I totally except her judgment about the situation.And now I know that this is the whole “Power of definition”-spiel-thing .. (as you also might know by now).
The Point: I didn’t except her verdict judgment or let’s say her power of definition that’s his (what I had done) was something insanely terrible something no one should ever do and that there is „no justification“.
So the point is kind of.. I think she felt that I’m abusive by not agreeing enough with her harsh judgment.
I mean she was in this kind of feminist group already by that time. I think she is probably the only one of the three who is/was a “true believer” .. In the values of “power of definition” .. and just this whole feminism-cult. She was from Vienna and I suspect she used to be in the Vienna “Group DefMa”.
##
Then in April 2014 it somehow came to light that she was one of the accusers who somehow got together and decided that yeah I should be.. whatever. And than in 2015 she did that lecture „Rapists we will get you!„. This is so tasteless. I wrote about that in the german texts.
Actually I just remember that one time when we had sex I pulled her hair without asking before doing it. Like gentle but also poorly. And some days later she told me that she thought that this was kinda hot. I was so happy hearing that I think I didn’t told her that, but this made my whole day just a thought about that she really liked it such enjoyed having sex with me and that she enjoyed her I pulled her hair a little bit.
I mean this should be considered rape (in the DefMa-logic). But now I don’t want to get sarcastic and bitter.
## (Nr3) (2014)
I will make this one short. I think there is basically nothing worth talking about here. The text of the “Statement-2017” should be enough.
Our relationship was over since quite a while and then she out of nowhere send me this mail saying that she got in contact with other persons who also are not OK with my behavior and that I will get banned now. Or get in trouble.
In that EMail she stressed very much that I should not assume that it is just because of her. She also had heard that I had been getting into trouble because of stuff like that before and that I was banned from places already. (Brunnenstrasse).
Then she made a list of things where I have probably done something while we have sex, she felt were not entirely alright.. But that list is very much.. She tried very hard and I could not say what accusation would be actually serious from that list.
Also she wrote that she don’t want to get a response and that she wants me to not talk to her or when we see each other to get out of her way. It was definitely an entirely different vibe then I ever heard of her before.
Especially like the statement that she don’t want to talk to me and don’t want an answer and I have to avoid her. That’s so out of character for her. I mean she was a talker in general.
I’m pretty sure she never had to deal with people like those the people from the Tristeza. Aggro people like that.
[…]
[…]
So in April 2014 I got an email by it on group called basic. that sad that they have been some persons or I have committed „sexualised violence“ to. That was one term that was used and then something like „crossing boundaries“ or something.
And that I know would be banned from tristeza k-fetisch and about:blank. And that other banns might follow. (The one for NFJ-Berlin soon followed) And that I should only talk to them („basic“) about this matter and that everything I write might be given to other people. Pretty much at the same moment I got an email from A***e (3)
In April 2014 four emails one from the group basic. And one from A***e (accuser number 3).
[…]
[…]
But looking at that moment I thought no it’s enough. Into years 2010 till 2013 I had endured so much bullshit. And so I wrote a very lengthy email 15 pages. To 7 people.
Then I got an email from the group basic that they got their hands on my email and that they object to it and L***a (2) felt like her accusations were misrepresented by me. (It actually it was, but I think for the worse for me).
At that moment I was writing I wasn’t even sure if she was one of the people A***e(3) had been talking with. I wasn’t sure that L***a(2) was one of the accusers so I did not care to much representing that correctly.
So they wrote some “corrections” and demanded that I give it to everyone that I send those 15 pages to. That was no problem for me.
I have no idea how they came up with the idea that I wanted to twist that story in someway because there was just absolutely nothing to twist. I was actually happy that this group “basic” obviously got this whole story also from my side.
And from this moment on I was convinced that they would very soon write something nice and ask.. That we can just make up, reconcile and everything will be fine.
I was totally sure that this was all a big misunderstanding. That if J***a L***a and A***e would read the things I had to say all would end up alright. Yea, wasn’t happening.
[…]
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